I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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