I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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