how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
