i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize