he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
