My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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