just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sorry about my life...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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