She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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