I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
