I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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