you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
this beer tastes like vomit already
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
