Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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