It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
