Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Rumble strips road head = magical
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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