pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
