She's JV to your varsity
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize