Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
