I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
