we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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