no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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