We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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