also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
