I need help removing her.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
