You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
