I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
