i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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