just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
