I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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