Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
