BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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