Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
