You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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