So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize