TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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