I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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