He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
