A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
