I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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