this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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