I'm passing your future prison.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize