You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she peed on how many people?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
