So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize