He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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