my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
