i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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