I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
