First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
