some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
