her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
