I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize