dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
