Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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