Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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