I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i out mim tonsoeep
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