Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The feeling are messing with the penis
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
