You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
