Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
