She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize