You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
