I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
