Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
