Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
