God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
