Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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