Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
