I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
