I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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