He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
