I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
