So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
