Those balls look pretty dangerous.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
