Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
